Standing before the throne of God can be a terrifying experience. All the pious platitudes, the polite faces we put on in church circles don’t matter any more. My respectability is seen to be a sham, I cannot hide my face. All that I am – good and bad – is open, is in the […]
Thoughts on Prayer
March 15, 2013 by 4 Comments
Ideas of what I should, and should not, pray about are a problem in my life. I freely confess that I am not a good “pray-er” – I never seem to know what to say, I am sure I fail to say things I am supposed to, and I can’t even manage to close my […]
Peace, be still
March 5, 2013 by 2 Comments
I am frequently not at peace. Anxiety twists and torments me, makes me run through my head over and over the same worries and fears. Anxiety makes me fear, and fear turns to depression in me. My soul is troubled by many horrible thoughts, by destructive thoughts, by the haunting idea that I am not […]
Self Harm, and Me – a post for #SIAD
March 1, 2013 by Leave a Comment
It seems such a long time ago now, when I first started cutting my skin. A one-off response to feelings of overwhelming anger and pain when I was fourteen led me to take a knife to my arm. It would have been just a one-off, too, had I not faced those feelings again, years later. […]
I Am An Extremist
February 27, 2013 by 2 Comments
I am a person of extremes. It remains debatable whether that is due to my bipolar disorder, or to some facet of my own personality. As it happens, my mother is also an extreme sort of person. For both of us, it is easy to fall into an “all-or-nothing” mentality. I either do not bother […]
Dear Lord and Father of Mankind
February 25, 2013 by Leave a Comment
Another hymn for you! I have always loved this one, which is by John Whittier, and enjoyed singing it at school. I particularly appreciate the “reclothe us in our rightful mind” line. Not just because I have a mental illness: the “rightful mind” for me is something we all strive for, because our own natural […]
Healing Services
February 24, 2013 by 2 Comments
I have just returned tonight from a healing service held at my local church. It used Common Worship‘s laying on of hands and anointing service. You can read the service on the Church of England website. The website also includes an interesting theological note about healing which is well worth reading, and which includes this […]
Mental…and Christ-like?
February 19, 2013 by Leave a Comment
The old (if rather irritating) phrase, that Christianity is about a relationship (rather than a religion) with God, has a great deal of truth to it. * The relationship between us and Jesus, between the Persons of God – everything is interwoven. Before he went to the cross, Jesus prayed: I have given them the […]
Jesus, Lover of My Soul
February 10, 2013 by Leave a Comment
This much-loved hymn is by Charles Wesley and if you visit the Cyberhymnal, you can listen to the traditional tune. Alternatively, here is a YouTube video of Chris Eaton singing the hymn to a modern tune that he composed. I think his is a wonderful version. You can visit his website here. Lyrics are printed […]
Keeping Up Appearances
February 6, 2013 by 1 Comment
Back in the early ’90’s, I was a big fan of the sitcom Keeping Up Appearances where a social climber called Hyacinth Bucket (pronounced Bouquet) seeks out any opportunity to ingratiate herself with those she perceives as higher class than herself. She uses material goods (china, for example) to make herself seem to be of a […]
Believer's Brain 