Suicide, Matthew Warren, and my experience

I heard about the death of Matthew Warren over the weekend. He was the son of Pastor Rick Warren, author of The Purpose-Driven Life, and a leader in American Christianity, so the news went all over the internet. I don’t know much about the Warren family or Rick Warren’s teachings, but I have a great […]

Lord Jesus, Think On Me

Another hymn for you, the words to this one are from Sy­ne­si­us of Cy­rene, cir­ca 430 (Μνώεο Χριστέ); trans­lat­ed from Greek to Eng­lish by Al­len W. Chat­field. I use these hymns as an example for prayer and reflection, as well as something nice to listen to – they are not just added here as “filler” posts. The lyrics are […]

Bit of a Personal Update

Sometimes I feel as though I am, in this blog, only reflecting back on times when I have been “properly” ill – in particular the four major episodes of mostly depression (with some hypomania) in the past ten years. I thought it was time for a little more about me today. I am on ESA, […]

Stripped Bare

Standing before the throne of God can be a terrifying experience. All the pious platitudes, the polite faces we put on in church circles don’t matter any more. My respectability is seen to be a sham, I cannot hide my face. All that I am – good and bad – is open, is in the […]

Thoughts on Prayer

Ideas of what I should, and should not, pray about are a problem in my life. I freely confess that I am not a good “pray-er” – I never seem to know what to say, I am sure I fail to say things I am supposed to, and I can’t even manage to close my […]

Peace, be still

I am frequently not at peace. Anxiety twists and torments me, makes me run through my head over and over the same worries and fears. Anxiety makes me fear, and fear turns to depression in me. My soul is troubled by many horrible thoughts, by destructive thoughts, by the haunting idea that I am not […]

I Am An Extremist

I am a person of extremes. It remains debatable whether that is due to my bipolar disorder, or to some facet of my own personality. As it happens, my mother is also an extreme sort of person. For both of us, it is easy to fall into an “all-or-nothing” mentality. I either do not bother […]

Dear Lord and Father of Mankind

Another hymn for you! I have always loved this one, which is by John Whittier, and enjoyed singing it at school. I particularly appreciate the “reclothe us in our rightful mind” line. Not just because I have a mental illness: the “rightful mind” for me is something we all strive for, because our own natural […]

Healing Services

I have just returned tonight from a healing service held at my local church. It used Common Worship‘s laying on of hands and anointing service. You can read the service on the Church of England website. The website also includes an interesting theological note about healing which is well worth reading, and which includes this […]

Mental…and Christ-like?

The old (if rather irritating) phrase, that Christianity is about a relationship (rather than a religion) with God, has a great deal of truth to it. * The relationship between us and Jesus, between the Persons of God – everything is interwoven. Before he went to the cross, Jesus prayed: I have given them the […]